More responses to Mammy Tribute

I enjoyed reading your words in support of the "Mammys" of the world. Now, as a white grandmother and during my formative years, whenever I see a Mammy I always have had very warm feelings. I am truly sorry that some people have negative feelings. I was very fortunate as a child to have a "Mammy". I was two years old when she came to work for my family and stayed with us for almost 40 years until her death. Her older sister and I were at her bedside when she passed on and I am so grateful for that. I am still very close to her 92 year old mother and sisters. They are family to me. I could talk to her easier than I could my own mother and she was always there for me. Her two daughters were near my age and we have always been close. We used to look forward to my parents leaving town so she would spend the night with us. We always had such fun. Now, I know her daughters were first with her, but I sure didn't realize it at the time. I just felt like one of her own. She gave me such a sense of warmth, love and security. She was my precious "mother" and most loved and cherished friend. Her daughters, mother, sisters, my mother and sister and I all mourn her passing and it has been 13 years. Her Christianity was always foremost in her life and she passed it on to all of us. As a Christian, I know we will be together again. The designs are wonderful and DeGee's "Mammy Designs" warmed my heart. Thank you!Georgia
love your mammy's page... It is great.... My mammy is still living...she is my second mom and I love her dearly. I hope to be able to get those designs soon... I would love to make her a throw quilt for her birthday... Her name was Kathryn but I couldn't say it when I was little...I called her Kakie...everyone does now.. thanks for the memories


Thank you for the wonderful tribute to the hero's of yesterday. May "her" job of caring and sharing be ever present in the hearts of people today. She instilled in many of the children both in the big house and the fields the true meaning of love. I trust many grew up to appreciate the lessons she taught.


"Mammy" is a fitting portrait of courage, love and honor. We are pleased to share this writing and the peek into the heart of our Country's history with our readers. Thank you Carol!Mary Lowry-Buechler Editor Sacramento Newsletter and Poetic Express


I read your tribute to Mammy. I think God will have a very special place in heaven for the woman. I am not Afro-American, but just a plain, simple country person who fears God and believes that the color of a persons skin should mean nothing when human kindness, love and compassion are concerned. These woman who worked so hard to raise someone elses families need to be praised.


CJ- Your tribute to the Mammy's of this country is very touching - what a large part she played in history! Of course the word "Mammy" always brings to mind Scarlett's Mammy in GWTW - how could such a courageous, strong and loving figure ever be negative? Many thanks!


What a beautiful tribute to wonderful, strong, and wise women. Though not of Afro-American heritage, I read your tribute with much sentiment. When I was a young girl, we had an Afro-American lady come over to iron...my Mother's only luxury. Miss Annie was a wonderful, happy, wise, and loving woman and I have often thought of her through the years. I loved her dearly and often felt safe and secure when she would just give me one of her very, very big hugs. Thanks you, cj, for bringing "Mammy" where she belongs....right up there with the angels. And yes, in her own way Oprah, too, is a Mammy.


Hi, just had to let you know how much I enjoyed seeing the Mammy collection. I too, as others have attested, had a Mammy in my life, I am white, my grandmother had a black lady to help her wash every Monday morning, we grandchildren called the lady Aunt Maddie, and thought the world of her. I don't think of black or white, just a memorable time in my life, she was a very sweet lady.


Thank you for the beautiful Mammy design. I am white and I live in the south. The tribute reminds me of a woman that was my mother's maid for many years. I went to the funeral home after her death a few years ago, along with my mother and sister. We were the only white people there. My heart was filled with much regret, as I had not expressed to her the love I felt and the sorrow for the hard life she lived, something I had not realized until I was older. I had not taken the time to visit her in her older years. She had home remedies and endless patience, never complaining. I know in my heart that God is going to judge each and every person for every thought and act of racism against any race. I pray that I will be found without guilt on that day.


What a beautiful tribute. I am not Afro-American, but Polish-American. I have always prided myself with the beautiful heritage all of us have and the many struggles our ancestors had, no matter what race or creed. I had worked in the medical profession for 26 years and one of our patients was an Afro-American Lady, who called herself our Mammy when she came in for medical care. She always took such good care of the staff with her hugs and her warm apple pies. She passed on many years ago, but will always be a part of my memory. We all loved her dearly. Some days, I would give anything for her warm hug. She was truly a beautiful lady and I mean lady. Again, my compliments to a very well written tribute that should be published for more to read.


Hi, I am one of those persons who grew up with a Mammy in our home. She took care of my step-father's Mother who was almost blind. What I remember about Mattie was her washing on the old fashioned rub board in a #3 galvanized tub. It was outside. We did not have a washing machine. She would boil the water in a huge black pot (outside) and boil the white clothes and then rubbed them on the rub-board where they were soiled.. I just love dolls. Did not have many when I was growing up as I was a child during the depression years. (Our Mammy was in the home during the 40's)


dear cj: we saw the movie Beloved on our 19th anniv. so I can relate to your story about mammy....and I am in tears!! you wrote it very well!! our ancestors went thru a lot! our grandparents and great-grands escaped their motherland to be in america only to have to work in the harsh plantations. I made mention to several union members about why the unions began here in Hawaii....the very harsh treatments our ancestors got in the plantations....they may have been whipped, tortured, work long hours, kids also worked. etc. thanks for your heart warming stories!


CJ, I have been reading all the tributes to "Mammy" and had to tell you my story. I used to live near a fabric store and often went there to take classes. After awhile I noticed one of my fellow class members was a black lady who had attended many of the Pfaff club classes. She and I got to be sewing friends along with another lady . We usually had lunch together over the following months, and I often took my black friend's Fabrics home with me, she didn't want her husband to see them. I asked how she could do that because he used the same checkbook; she explained that she told him it was for food. One day, our other friend did not attend our class, so it was just she and I for lunch. Well, while we were eating, and chatting endlessly, she suddenly asked me "Can I tell you something?", of course I said yes. She said "When I am with you I don't feel like a n------r. I was absolutely stunned and speechless for the first time in my life. Big tears started pouring down my face, I still cry when I think of it. How sad, I absolutely never thought of her as different in any way, she was my sewing buddy. I always have felt that if I live to be 100 I will never get a greater compliment. By the way I am of Scottish American descent.


All the "fuss" about Mammy got me ordering the design set from DeeGee - and when I had it here and was able to really look at it - I could not stop weeping. I am not afro american -- more the "Brunhilde" type of a big German woman but that picutre reminded me of a dearly loved aunt I lost in August. She wore always a "head-kerchief" when doing household chores - she was the good soul of my childhood who cared for me with sweets and loving hugs when I needed - she was the first in our family who accepted my (then) husband -to-be as a member of us... I miss her so that must I cry.Each piece in our house remembers me of her, and I have inherited her ring and some other things which I have with me . the little darling wonman DeeGee has depicted loos as much as my auntie as if it were a true portrait - only that the skin colour should be more pale. You must know women here used to wear the fabric on the head in exactly thismanner in the years after WW II when there was lots of dirty and dusty work to do ( ever heard of the "Truemmerfrauen" who cleaned broken bricks from bombed houses to recycle them for new buildings ??) I now plan to make something like a quilt in memory of this beloved aunt - using the Mammy desings slightly modified in colour of skin. I just had to share how deeply I was touched by this - and perhaps this will help me to get around a bit with my loss. Thanks for listening....


I send an amen to your message about Mammy's. I am of the, so called, "white race". I don't know if my words will offend you but I consider everyone colored in many hues of the rainbow. And I always thought of the Mammy as you do and respect her for what she had to do under great hardship. Thank you for the free design.


Way to go, cj!!!! Maybe I am different, I know I am not Afro-American, but I, too have always had a warm spot in my heart for Mammy....and I can't tell you why....I am sure it is from something in my childhood!!!! My gosh!!!! That last sentence just reminded me!!!! Truly!!!! My Mother once told me about this big Mammy that took care of me and my sister when we were just toddlers....Mom used to get angry with her because she let us eat treats and snacks even when we didn't eat what we were supposed to...and naps and bedtime didn't mean anything to her....as long as we were happy!!!! I guess that is where all my good feelings about Mammy came from. I am going to ask my Mom more....I bet there are some great stories there for my granbabies!!!! I love the designs!!!!


You always have such good things to say. Thank you. Keep up with your wonderful words of wisdom and your humor.
I read your Tribute and it is wonderful. My mother was just today talking about "Sadie", who she dearly loved and was with my Grandparents until she died. Mother said Sadie was more important to her and her sisters than their own parents. My mother is a great strong willed, independent person who I'm sure was taught these things by Sadie. Sadie was there when we were born and then when I was about 5, we went to visit grandparents and they said Sadie was "gone". We thought she just left. But then after we were older, Granny to us to see "Sadie", her grave.


You know cj....I guess I've never been politically correct. If I love someone, I have always said so. We're a "touchy, feely" group. Have always shown affection and been proud of those we love. I have told the story of Aunt Mary for years. So many wonderful black people have touched my life. I HONESTLY don't think it matters, this color of skin. There's dear, wonderful people in every race...and then there are those that you wonder why they breathe! LOL


I enjoyed reading about the Mammy and do agree on the historical aspect of it all - Oprah, maybe. Thanks for bringing us up to date and this lovely reminder.


What a wonderful tribute to Mammy! cj, you are something else!


I've always loved the "Mammy's. Never knew why, but after reading your Tribute to Mammy, now I know. Thanks so much for this information. You will probably have some flaming on the subject, if you do please just ignore them. What a beautiful tribute. I plan on printing it our and when I use any of the mammy's I'd love to put a copy of your tribute with what ever I do. (With only your permission tho)


You are very gifted in expressing yourself CJ.


I just read you tribute to Mammy and it is beautiful. My mother was raised in South Dakota in the early part of this century. They had a Mammy who she loved. Conditions in 1909 were a little different and I'm sure not as demanding as she did not live with them, but my Mother often spoke of her and her love for her was great. You can be proud of your race and the Mammies before who need to be honored.


Beautiful.


As usual Carol, you've brought tears to my eyes. A truly loving and lovable tribute from the heart. Thank you


The Mammy's are beautiful - congratulations. And I enjoyed the history lesson, too.


As always I'm totally blow away by your talent.


enjoyed reading about Mammy and I have D/L the free design and will emb. it out. Thanks,


Thank you so much for your wonderful tribute and explanation in regards to Mammies. I was concerned about using the embroidery designs - I did not want to offend anyone. I am very involved in racial reconciliation through my church. I appreciate the rich heritage I learn about when I worship with my African-American Sisters. God Bless you,


I love your tribute to the Mammy. Growing up in Savannah Ga. we had a wonderful lady who came to our house to help my mother with the house work. Her name was Elizabeth and I used to think I was named after her since my real name is Elizabeth also. She would often bring her little girl to play with me since I didn't have anyone to play with living in the country as we did. I'll always remember her and the love she gave me when I was a little girl.


I really enjoyed your mammy collection. I especially enjoyed the tribute to mammy. I liked her on the pancake package as a child growing up. She was so happy, friendly and smiling. I to am saddened that she disappeared from our culture in a negative way.


Hello I am not an Afro-American, but i had to tell you how much i liked your tribute to mammy. It was really inspiring. Thank You


A beautifully written and touching tribute girl, just beautiful. Oprah would be proud (IMHO).


The mammy tribute is truly beautiful and gives new insight to a figure I have only seen in movies since I have always lived in the Pacific Northwest. Thank you for such a loving tribute.


Hello: I love your tribute to Mammy. My family didn't have plantations as far as we can tell from our history. Your story shows your love for your heritage. This is a good trait in a person.


AH HA! It was you! How very nice and loving for you to write that Carol. And thanks for info.


cj, I am proud of you


Carol, The mammy design is a sweetheart and will be my friend…. thanks for the tribute--we really know so little of our true history because so much of the "real life" was left out of our books at school. I guess ther is only room for names and dates and it is up to us to dig deeper for the heart. So--Thank you for sharing her heart.


cj, this is so special, I am typing with tears in my eyes. I have so many fond, happy memories of growing up in the deep south. Such wonderful, brave and strong women who raised so many of us. Yes, they are much more like Mamas to us than our own Mother. Thank you for this wonderful expression of sentiment.


We have so much to learn from each other, thanks for sharing that article. Beautiful.


CJ - I had a Mammy when I was little and growing up (I'm 43 now so this was not so very very many years ago).........and she was wonderful......her name was Betty Moon - I'll never forget her........ My Mom was a single Mom with 2 kids (she was divorced when I was 1 1/2),,,,,,,,,she was so lucky to have found Betty.........Betty had 6 children of her own and they were all like a year to a year and a half apart in ages from 6 months on up...........Betty lived about 6 blocks from us...........so she usually walked to the house and either brought all of her kids with her or took us to her house.........we became one of her own......and got treated the same way too............(I remember the switchings we use to get LOL)....... The particular incident I remember was when I was about 4 and had the mumps which was during a record snowfall for us here in Georgia.........all the kids were outside playing in the snow and making fun of me and laughing at me because I couldn't come out.....well Betty wrapped me up really good and took me outside so I wouldn't miss the snowfall..........of course I got a little sicker....LOL ..........the only thing I hated about being sick was the only thing I could eat and that Betty could get down me was applesauce.......can you imagine......to this day I will not eat applesauce........... Betty still lives in the same house and all her kids are grown and gone - and some of them work around me in the county government where I work - Betty was such a devoted mother and mammy and indoubtedly imprinted each of us with love for each other - no what our background or ethnicity..........She very proudly will tell you about her days as a Mammy and how well we all turned out.............due of course to her guiding light (and hand)..........


CJ, good to hear from you. Thought you had dropped off the face of the earth, sweetie. I loved the tribute to Mammy. Hope you and yours are all well and that we will see you on the AWC board again soon.


These designs are beautiful. I read the tribute to "Mammy" and it was spectacular. I respect anyone who lived the hard lives these people did. Thank God it is over in some respects. One day, maybe we can all be one regardless of color.
Thank you for sharing these designs & tribute.
HERE ! HERE ! I couldn't agree with you more about "Mammy". I don't know why, but for some reason only the Good Lord knows, I have always held a special place in my heart for this beautiful, wonderful culture sometimes called Blacks. They are a beautiful people.
The designs on Digi's site called Mammy are wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, It is very good hearing from you. We miss reading your posts. They gave us a look at the world through your eyes.
Thank you for telling us about your tribute to Mammy. I greatly enjoyed reading it. I remember when I was a child growing up in the cornfields of Illinois, my parents took me by a house in a nearby town and told me it was part of the underground railroad. I just couldn't understand. They tried to explain it to me, but I just didn't get it. I couldn't get the concept of one person owning another. Still can't. Anyway, thanks for posting and letting us know how you are doing. Don't stay away so long. The best to you and yours.


I loved your story about mammys and I agree with everything your wrote!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you.


That was wonderful! Thanks,
I agree whole heartedly. Could almost feel a nice soft, round "mammy" rocking me in her arms.


I benefitted from a child that was raised with the help of a "mammy". While at M-I-L's home for funeral of my first wife, an old, bowed with age, black lady came to the house to pay respect to the woman (MIL) she had worked for many years before. I had never met her, but my wife had always spoke well of her..as she did about all people..a trait I know she learned from her "mammy". When I asked her if she had been to the funeral home, she replied "Oh no, Miss Pearl (MIL) would never let me do that". I drove that dear lady to the funeral home to see the woman who had learned so much from her as a child....I knew Virginia would have wanted it that way, depite what her mother may have thought.


Oh, CJ! The tribute that you put on your website is truly beautiful! I'm certain that Oprah would take what you said as the highest compliment.


Very eloquent and touching. Thank you.


Hi! Your tribute to Mammy is so wonderful! With the "melting pot" history of this country, I am sure Mammy is part of many more people than we know. In a way, this is sad, because too often multi-racial children are the result of rape and coercion. But I would be willing to bet that a great percentage of these kids are a result of a loving caring relationship. Please don't misunderstand. I am not trying to "appropriate" Mammy as an icon of my heritage, though she probably is. I am only voicing the admiration...and, yes pride, at knowing such wonderful women were part of the history of this country. Thanks again for that beautiful tribute to Mammy.


The mammys are just gorgeous! And I just read your tribute. It's so true and I'm so glad to hear someone else say it. I've found myself in a few arguments over the years when I've expressed such opinions. Another thing that seems so hypocritical to me is that those same people found Mammys and other blacks beneath them, less smart, etc....so why was it okay for their so-called superior babies to be nutured by mammys, let alone taking milk from them? I'm not saying that clearly, but you know what I mean. BTW, I'm American and married to an Aussie farmer. A BIG disappointment on a recent trip home -- and this might seem silly -- was to discover that Aunt Jemima (on the box, of course) had been changed and modernized. To me, a little white girl growing up in Lakewood, New Jersey, Aunt Jemima in her old "mammy" form epitomized comfort and safety and security and love. I remember going to a parade, though I don't remember what the occasion was, and the highlight of the whole thing was that Aunt Jemima was in it! Of course I thought she was the same as the lady on the box. Must figure out how to find a safe way to purchase the mammy designs. What wonderful faces they have and such adorable "scenes".


I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. Thanks, Don for sharing. And thanks, cj, for taking such good care of us all. You are our cyberspace mammy.


What a wonderful tribute . I did not live in the south but have always had a place in my heart for the women I saw protrayed in the movies as Mammy's. I wish I had had a Mammy as a child and if I could have a Mammy now as an adult she would be treated with great respect and love. I would appreciate her and pay her well! This country needs women who will care for families. Surely the Mammy's have a special place in Heaven! Of course, I realize that what made a Mammy so special was her loving, caring ways and her wisdom all the while she was NOT being paid.


CJ, this is a wonderful, moving tribute. I also had a Mammy and when she passed away the whole town turned out to tell her goodbye.


First of all I am white and hope you do not find offense in what I am about to say. For me Mammy is what my grandkids call me and I wanted it that way. I wanted to be like her and love the children like she did. I wanted to be like her. I wish for her strength and wisdom. Too me she was a symble of everything a mother should be. As a foster parent and she was a number foster parent, I try to model myself after her. She will always be one of my favorite heros. Now I don't think of Oprah this way, but Mya Angelo, I do. I think to be in her presence would be a great gift.


I think that your description and the digitized pictures are a wonderful tribute to a wonderful memory!!


Thank you for Mammy. I have a "Mammy" in my life. I just have to make something for her with this. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent with us.


Wouldn't it be ironic if the icon that was so despised...becomes the catalyst for racial reconciliation.


i very much enjoyed the mammy website. your points are very well taken. unfortunately i cannot imagine my 25 year old daughter allowing herself to see the importance of such a personae. her generation can scarcely discuss the issue of slavery without launching into a "i wouldn' t have let anyone do that to me" speech. for myself i have mixed feelings. i have been that mammy to a white family while i left my own children alone because we needed the money. the white kids came to depend on me to be their sounding post, go between for their parents, you name it and i did indeed love those kids like my own. yet i was always aware of how i was neglecting my own children. the thing was that caring for the white family was a JOB. i was expected to take the kids to recitals etc, attend, clap and so on. i still remember my daughter asking when i was going to come to one of her school recitals and should she save up her allowance to pay me. OUCH!!! yet when the father of the white family died i was as broken hearted as any real family member and attended the funeral. it was a very odd relationship to me although one that perhaps true mammy's had long since worked out in their heads. the loose hours i was permitted to work helped get me through community college as long as i was there by time the kids got home from school. but my own kids wound up doing the latch key thing. as you can see there is alot of mental back and forth to being a modern day mammy. also i think your comment about oprah is right on the money and i don't think the world seeing her that way is a bad thing. but... she is also a savvy businesswoman, a survivor. much in the way the old time mammy's were i suppose. saw her in an interview about "beloved" and she said she knows she would have done whatever she needed to to get by as a slave and work her way into the house. boy did i admire that. she so in touch with her own realities. well enough rambling. its almost two a.m. and i'm hoping to get sleepy real soon.


How very wonderful that such a horrendous inhumanity could to so many bring such wonderful feelings and memories. As a very young girl living with my paternal grandmother, she would tell me stories of "mammies", she had a mammy doll which sat on her toaster. Grammie's family were Irish/Scottish immigrants from the 1800's who arrived (probably as indentured servants themselves) and lived in Kentucky for several decades. Eventually poor dirt farmers, after Lincoln "freed" the slaves, "took in" a young black woman who had lost her husband and young children prior to the Immancipation, I think grammie called her Sarah. Sarah had apparently been someones mammy and had been discarded. Sarah lived with "my family", remarried and had a second family. While she lived with "my family" she became their nanny-mammy, performing probably the same type of duties as she had been trained for. The mammy doll, grammie had had been made by one of her great-grandchildren when the child and my grammie were children. It was an heirloom that was meant to come to me, however she died in 1963 and all of her possessions gone (according to my dad) prior to anyone having been able to collect them. The story has alway been with me and always will, although I have precious little that belonged to her. Seems I tell you more than most people ever get to know. Don't think I've ever told that story before, at least not as an adult. But between you and DeeGee's Mammies, this has all become so vivid for me again. Crazies thing is I sent an order off just yesterday by snail-mail for the designs....I haven't a clue as to what I'll ever us them on at this point, but hey, they will always make me think of being a little girl with my grammie. I have her in my heart and memory, so with me she will live forever!


Read your tribute and thought it was beautiful.


Dear C.J. I really loved Deegees new Mammy designs...and was touched by your little tribute to go with them. Just saw your post and had to write and say....Hey...what are you still doing up at this time of night???.......you should be in bed. I should be in bed. Ha! Ha! Have a good one. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have such a talent for writing. I really think you should do more!


CJ, I Thank DeeGee for these wonderful designs, and the write up you did on Mammy. It was so neat!!!!


Hi CJ, Really loved your tribute to "Mammy". You said it very well I thought.


The designs are very striking and brings a positive image to a very important figure not only in our African American heritage but a mainstay to the family, period.


What a wonderful tribute, CJ. As a former history teacher, I feel you are absolutely correct in your assessments. In fact, Mammy was often the stabilizing factor in many of the plantation households. Her values often set the tone for the children and even touched her master/mistress at times.


Your words and thoughts are stunning. What a beautiful statement your tribute is - thanks for sharing it with all of us!


Dear cj, Thanks so much for your loving tribute to "Mammy". If she never gets a second thought anywhere else, your little shrine to her on the internet honors and validates her. Yours is a story I'll carry around in my heart for a long while. (p.s. I agree with you about Oprah)


So, I went and read the Mammy Tribute. Nicely done. Politically correct or not, those women were also a part of history and its nice to see that their contribution is recognized and honored instead of vilified. "Access to power must be confined to those who are not in love with it."


CJ: I ordered the Mammy designs .... there is a young black woman I have become friends with where I play bingo ... I'd like to do the KMart 7 day towels and emb the Mammy designs on them .... I am printing out your tribute to Mammy, but it would be nice to also have a brief bio, of you the author ..... would that be possible? thanks so much.


Ms. Carol Garrett, You have your own opinion about a mammy; but I'm a black woman who has a child. I am not a mammy I am a mother or mama. I would never let my son and I would never call my mother that word.And I don't think Oprah Winfrey would like anyone considering her as a mammy. I will not buy or downloading the free designs. Thank you,


HI, CJ HAD TO SEND YOU A NOTE TO TELL HOW MUCH I LOVED THE MAMMY TRIBUTE, I LOVE THE MAMMY'S AND HAD TO HAVE THEM. THERE HAVE BEEN MAMMY'S IN MY LIFE THAT I LOVED SO MUCH WISH I COULD BRING THEM BACK AND LET THEM READ THIS.

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